35 Years Ago We Gathered

The Jones Family in 1978?See these people?  They are mostly strangers to me, I know very little of their lives, where they live, or what their lives are like.  These people are my family.   Over the years we grew apart and nobody has really done much about it.  This picture was taken in approximately 1978 in Cape Breton at my parents house and it was the last time we all gathered as a family.

I bought a new house in October and after finding some old photos while unpacking I’ve been getting sentimental, something I’m not used to but I welcome the sensation.  Family members are getting older, sickness has affected a few of us, as well death and divorce.  We are now down to 11 and I feel it’s time to gather before we lose the chance.  Time, is not on our side.

Today I am writing a letter  to all my relatives to hopefully sell the idea of a family reunion in Florida over the winter.  I must control my wordiness, not sound desperate and make it sound like a good idea… I have a feeling it might be a hard sell.  I think we’re lazy lovers when it comes to family.  We all love each other, we just don’t bother.

(Notice Casey my dog in the lower left had corner, apparently he posed for every shot the photographer took.  At first they tried to shoo him, but he kept coming back. He was a good dog.)

Summer in Nova Scotia Tom Robbins style

You know when you’ve been soaking in a bath tub too long?  That is how I feel.   Sun has been a rarity.  My gardens however look fabulous….

Tom Robbins >

Tom Robbins
“And then the rains came. They came down from the hills and up from the sound. And it rained a sickness. And it rained a fear. And it rained an odor. And it rained a murder. And it rained dangers and pale eggs of the beast. Rain poured for days, unceasing. Flooding occurred. The wells filled with reptiles. The basements filled with fossils. Mossy-haired lunatics roamed the dripping peninsulas. Moisture gleamed on the beak of the raven. Ancient Shaman’s rained from their homes in dead tree trunks, clacked their clamshell teeth in the drowned doorways of forests. Rain hissed on the freeway. It hissed at the prows of fishing boats. It ate the old warpaths, spilled the huckleberries, ran into the ditches. Soaking. Spreading. Penetrating. And it rained an omen. And it rained a poison. And it rained a pigment. And it rained a seizure.”

The Yoga Retreat and The Aftermath…

being rebecca yoga and it's aftermath One evening in my desperation to find a good Costa Rica yoga retreat for next year, I stumbled upon one near to me.  It was a celebration of Summer Solstice in PEI at the beautiful Goeland Centre…  a Yoga and Art retreat.  Simply Perfect.  I could almost taste the peace, it was such fortunate fate.

The weekend was exceptional, good food, good company, good weather, new types of yoga to experience, art projects… and bonfires at night.  I couldn’t have made a better choice, and was excited to return home and introduce everything I’d learned into my days.

At the closing of the retreat our final act was to sit in a circle and share what we were feeling.  It was obvious a lot of the participants were escaping from something; poor relationships, loss, depression, a hectic life, and high expectations.  You name it, we were all there.  Everyone had successfully escaped from what they were running from.  Tears were shed and love surrounded us all, our hearts were open and ready for our return to real life.  We would conquer whatever challenge was facing us.  Email addresses and phone numbers were exchanged and all promised to keep in touch after the weekend.  Many deep connections were made.

Driving away with the center in my rear view mirror, I realized that this was how I wanted my life to be.  I wanted to feel that peace consistently, and I knew I’d have to make a change in my life to accomplish the peace I was leaving behind.  I smiled to myself as I confidently hit the road, tunes blasting, windows open….  Peace and Love were behind me… and they stayed there.

On my 3 hour drive home everything I’d learned went out the door, people’s interactions, grouchy shop owners, shitty drivers… they were all making me utterly angry! I found myself screaming at the deathly slow driver in front of me, mouthing to a girl at a gas station to quit her job because her boss was yelling at her behind the counter in front of customers, and being quick with my friend who had called to vent….  I was hating who I was being.  What was happening to me?!?!?

When I returned home I unrolled my yoga mat and  did the Kundalini exercise, Breath of Fire and a series of Sun Salutations but nothing was helping.  I needed to regroup, and after two days of isolation and minor exposure to the outside world,  I reached out to others in my retreat group and found they’d experienced the same.  One returned to their husband and had a major relationship ruining fight that ended in one of them moving out for a couple days, one had confrontations with irresponsible pet owners, one had a fight at work.  I was really amazed how after feeling such joy and peace it could be injured so easily when returning to the real world.

I am calm again, and I’d suggest to anyone returning from such a retreat to introduce the real world in little bits.  Continue your practice and be sure to surround yourself with positive people, because for the first few days everything will effect you.  The aftermath of the yoga retreat… take caution, for the enlightenment you experience there doesn’t necessarily follow you home.

NAMASTE …. dammit!

The Sweetness of Doing Nothing or The Joy of being Jabba the Hut? The choice is yours….

godward24Yesterday I watched Eat Pray Love , it was my 9th time watching it.  When I got to the part where Julia Roberts finally took her day of doing nothing, I nearly choked on what was left of my Spicy Chili Ketchup chips.  I paused the movie, and ran to the mirror to look at myself .  After the shock of my reflection in the mirror, I shrugged my shoulders, and dropped it.  I then fetched a fresh bowl of chips before starting the movie back up.  But seriously though… COME ON!!!

Her:  Wearing a silk nightie with an ever so perfect arrangement of a boiled egg, lox, olives and fresh bread. Then, as the “Piece de resistance”  to a perfectly orchestrated meal, olive oil was drizzled over it.  She then placed her plate on the floor and sat in a sexy gazelle like pose on the floor to read her paper, hair gently flowing in beautiful curls around her face.  She was stunning.

Me: Wearing dirty baggy sweatpants, a large sweater that will never see the light of day, no bra, greasy hair, and unbrushed teeth.  I had a bowl of chips and I was sitting amongst 5 pillows and two blankets… in the dark.. watching movies on the first sunny day we’ve had in two weeks.  I was stunning.

If the sweetness of doing nothing is the way she does it, then I’m the Jabba the Hut of relaxation. My “nothing” day consisted of more than the recommended amount of sleep, 4 movies, a whole bag of chips and cold leftovers eaten directly from the fridge while still in the pot.  Is it just me? Do I need to fix this?  Should I feel guilt for not encompassing the Julia Robert’s style of guilt free relaxation?

I felt no guilt today… In fact I felt JOY!!!!  The JOY of sleeping in and wearing dirty but comfy clothes from the hamper… The JOY of not having to prepare a meal… The JOY of staying inside and not having to go out into public…  The JOY of watching movies that make me cry like a child without judgement.  The JOY of being home.

Maybe I’ll give the other way a whirl some day, who knows.  For now…. I’m sticking to what I know.

WordPress MESS

pic%2520frustratedI can’t sum it up with anything else but AAARRRGGGGHH. Does that make me feel better? No. I had all this excitement to start up my new blog and get writing, but I’ve been thrown off the tracks of my blog train trying to set up my blog page. I’m really disheartened right now… luckily I’m stubborn. I will figure this out, if you don’t see me out and about in town please send food and coffee. If I don’t answer the door text me  and I’ll text you the code to the house…

To enter my  house you must meet two of the following criteria:

  • You have treats
  • You’re cute
  • You know CSS or even just basic wordpress stuff is acceptable
  • You’re not a stranger

In the meantime I’ll still be on the computer trying to figure this out.

History repeats and it starts like….. So I’m driving along…

I thought if the child who lost the dolls saw this photo it would lighten their saddened heart.  Here they are fresh out of the washer drying up.
I thought if the child who lost the dolls saw this photo it would lighten their saddened heart. Here they are fresh out of the washer drying up.

Willpower didn’t win this particular night. Wearing a good trench coat and cute boots to cover up the sweat pant disaster underneath I headed out to the local 24hr store to buy chips.  A girl on a mission, I made my purchases and back tracked to home.  After about a minute on the highway, I noticed a woolly red bump approaching quickly in the middle of my lane. I straddled it and recognized that the lump looked like…. a frigging Raggedy Ann doll!  I maintained my speed and immediately felt guilt for not stopping to see if it really was what I thought it was, and as I toyed with the idea of doubling back …… BOOM!  Another one!  It was like a slap in the face, I was immediately in rescue mode.  I must save these dolls.

Retracing my original route to the store, I looped around and ended up on the side of the highway with my four-way flashers on at each dolls location…. 2 kilometers apart… I had rescued two, beautiful, handmade Raggedy Ann dolls from certain demise…like really WTF?  How did these dolls end up in the middle of the road?  I drove home silently, smiling at my new passengers… my mind racing.  Deep in my heart I just knew there was a mother or father sitting over their crying child unable to comfort them because they couldn’t find their dolly to cuddle up with at bedtime.  No one was there to protect them from the monsters in the closet.

When I returned home, I sat at the bottom of the stairs in my house and dug in my purse for the post-it notes I kept there.  I started scribbling frantically, sticking each completed sheet to my shirt as I filled up the next page.  When I’d figured out every detail to their adventure I bounded upstairs to my office to start writing the story.  My washer/dryer were handy so I threw the Ann dolls in for a cleansing ride and sat down at my desk and began.  By the time I created their poster, photos of and adventures of, the dolls were cleaned and dry.  See Poster Here  It was now 3am, there was a pile of crumpled post-its on the floor and I was confident that I would find the owners of these dolls.  Finally, my mind was empty and I could have a peaceful sleep.  My need to return the dolls to their child I believe, was spurred on because of a 35 year old memory and my love for the darn things.

Hi, My name is Rebecca…… and I still own a Raggedy Ann doll.

35 years ago my family was returning from a trip to Halifax and we stopped at “The Green Thumb”.  It was a garden center, a bakery and a fruit and vegetable stand.  The place was amazing, and the memory I have is the smell of fresh baked bread as we walked in to buy baked goods, when we returned to our car, Raggedy Ann was missing from her seat!  I was devastated… We looked everywhere but just couldn’t find her.  Who would steal an old doll?  My Dad was very concerned for his heartbroken child and when we returned home to Cape Breton he wrote an article in the provincial paper.  Raggedy Ann was the main character and he carefully constructed his plea through the doll .. if you found her or took her, please return her… no questions asked.  There may even have been a reward, but no luck chuck, my Ann doll was gone for good.

I was hopeful my ad would have gone viral and the papers would  have been calling for “feel good” kinda stories.  Alas, nothing.. nada.  450 views on Kijiji.ca.  The paper ones I taped to the light posts eventually have been ripped down or succumbed to the rainy June weather.  I am a failure.

If excitement and intention were a measure of what was going to happen, and it were a perfect world,   I’d be dropping those dolls off on someone’s doorstep with a note… We’re sorry we were bad, will you take us back?  My imagination is a wild one….

I can’t help it, I am a wordy girl!

the best is yet to comeMark this one down, My premiere post in my first blog ever.  I am, and will now forever hold the handle… beingrebecca.

Kinda snazzy isn’t it?  I feel like I’ve won something!  Well, not really… ’cause I researched and carefully selected my blog site.  I’m still hoping that my choice to not pay for added features and use the free option was the best decision for me.  I haven’t learned how to actually use this site yet… but that will come.

I participate in the Twitter thing,  and that’s fun… if you like to express yourself in 140 words or less.  I am NOT that person.  I am wordy, my grammar sucks, and generally it takes a little for me to perfect what I’m actually trying to say.  Perhaps the reason I’m single?…. oh yeah, it’s definitely had a hand in that.  Add frustration or hurt feelings to a verbal spar or row.. and all you’re gonna get is swear words and a lot of gestures, ok maaaaybe a tear or two.

You’ll probably see quite a few posts in the next little while, I’ve been journaling a lot lately and I’ve had some real fun doing it.  I thought just today I’d like to share with others, and find others who are like minded. So I guess I’ll be playing catch up with the last months worth of entries.

All this is about, is me… my interests and thoughts, my troubles, man troubles (cause those trouble are different),past stories, funny stories, fun observations, life joy and sadness, experiences, stories, photographs… yep, it’s all about me.

I only hope whoever is out there is as entertained as much as I entertain myself.  I don’t laugh at my own jokes or ram you in the side with elbows.. but random thoughts do make me snicker once in a while.

PS. my parent’s don’t know about this, they’ve found me on Facebook and Twitter.  Let’s keep it that way!

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